On Breaching the Wall of Taboo

I have an interesting relationship with my parents. I love both of them. They care for my brother and I tremendously, and we talk to each other.

However, sometimes during conversations, when the topic turns taboo (i.e. Politics, or behavioral issues), I tend to stop engaging or I say very few words. I worry that if I say something they don’t like (mostly my dad), they will get angry and yell at me. I think I’ve been conditioned since a young age to just accept everything my parents say as law and move on with life.

Though, as I get older, I grow smarter, more nuanced, and I read about other view points, I realized that my parents aren’t 100% right, maybe not even 70% right.

Yet, whenever they say something I think is logically inconsistent, I don’t say anything, when I probably should. If I do say something, it might be uncomfortable for a little bit, but maybe it would be for the better. My parents get to see a new view point and maybe they push back against mine and I find out my own conclusion is flawed.

That would be the ideal conversation, but I don’t feel safe expressing my true opinions. I was thinking of ways to solve this problem and one of them was teaching my parents the Methods of Rationality.

Tonight, I will share in our group chat this article from Rationality: A-Z by Eliezer Yudkowsky.

I chose this one specifically because I just had a conversation with my dad tonight about how these three girls were locked in the room of a fraternity house and my dad said nothing was wrong because nothing happened. True, nothing horrendous happened, but why did the guy lock the door? Ideally, you wouldn’t do such a threatening act, and threats are still very real (i.e. a bomb threat).

Let’s see how this goes. Today is Day 1 of enlightening my parents and maybe my brother as well if he’s up for it.

I sent the message, “Hi family, I enjoy having deep conversations with you guys and I learn a lot from them. Though, I feel like the best way to squeeze the most out of these chats is to first train ourselves on what to look out for when forming our opinions. If you guys are down for it, I would like you guys to read this article from one of my favorite authors. It’s really short (about 5 paragraphs long) and though it might be confusing at times, feel free to glance over those complicated terms and focus on the main parts. If you have any questions, just ask me.”

The next day, I had a deep conversation with my father and I believe it was very productive. He, as well as my mom, both said that they are interested in these types of articles and I should send more.

I think my father is a little delusional. He believes that closing the door, locking it, and saying “You guys are not leaving” to the people inside isn’t threatening and is perfectly fine. He thinks that just because you own a room, that means you can do anything you want, disregarding the people inside (even if they entered without your permission).

I’m not sure I changed his mind much. He definitely did not change mine, but I think it was a positive interaction overall.